Note to self (12/128):
Ni neart go cur le chiéle.
Note to self (11/128):
Your birthday is not on 6 March.
We’re not in for a zombie apocalypse. We’re in for a hungry people apocalypse.
Note to self (more like question to self) (8/128):
Why did I just wake up after dreaming about the different features of toilet paper?
Note to self (7/128):
According to CBS, the best gift for a man to give to a woman on Valentine’s Day is a check for testicular cancer on himself.
Note to self (6/128):
Shaving in the shower is destroying your face.
Note to self (5/128):
Two teaspoons of honey and one of lemon juice.
Note to self (4/128):
If you want to broil your ribeye, caramelize the outside first and then put it in the oven.
Note to self (and to the person who used the stall before me) (3/128):
When “Flush Twice” is both posted AND engraved onto the door, please ensure that you flush twice!